Exploring Female Motherhood Roles: From Creator to Wise Guidance
Written by Maria Luedeke
Throughout motherhood, women traverse various stages that shape her identity, experiences, and perceptions. If she chooses to have children she moves through the profound journey of childbirth as Creator to Nurturer then evolving into Wise Guide. Women encounter life phases of mothering that reflect their roles and transformations. As a mother to three sons, ranging in age now from 16 to 21, I am intimately familiar with these phases, and with each child experience a slightly different aspect.
Creator:
During pregnancy, a woman embarks on an intense emotional and physical journey. The opportunity here lies in the profound connection with a new life, experiencing the joys of motherhood, and witnessing the growth and development of a child. However, along with these joys come challenges such as sleep deprivation, identity shifts, and the pressure to meet societal expectations of motherhood.The archetype of the Mother represents the nurturing, protective, and self-sacrificing aspect of a woman's journey. There are also often feelings of overwhelming love and attachment to the newborn and feelings of inadequacy or guilt when facing challenges in motherhood. Hormonal fluctuations and fatigue can leave new mothers feeling emotionally vulnerable and lonely in spite of not having much time alone! It's essential for new mothers to understand that experiencing a range of emotions is normal and seeking support from loved ones or professionals can help navigate this transformative phase with greater ease and acceptance.
Nurturer:
As children grow women transition into the role of Nurturer. This phase involves rediscovering oneself beyond the role of a mother, nurturing relationships with partners, pursuing personal interests, and potentially redefining career paths. The opportunity lies in reclaiming independence, focusing on personal growth, and strengthening connections outside of motherhood. There is the constant push and pull of redefining boundaries both for her children and across life domains with work, friends, lovers and passions/hobbies. At the heart of this is nurturing, teaching, and helping children grow healthy with aligned values, aware of societal norms. For many mothers fostering a respect for self and others is of the utmost importance, I know for me this was penultimate. But often it comes at the expense of caring for self. In the whirlwind of school events, sports, clubs, playdates, volunteering, work, relationships and family life, self-care and identity can get lost and mothers can be defined by the roles they play in society instead of defining themselves by their own constructs. The Nurturer phase feels the most embodied and most frenetic while also being a time when the deepest bond with your child can be formed as they morph into teens then young adults.
Wise Guide:
It is bittersweet to release the child you have created, loved, cherished and nurtured out into the world —-be it college, a job or to just explore the world. “Empty nesting” can also bring feelings of loss, loneliness, and uncertainty about the future. You are equal parts brimming with excitement for their journey that’s just beginning and mourning the role you have played to this point. It is a time of immense pride and sadness, loss and joy of rediscovery of identity and passions. Empty nesting is a natural part of the parenting journey, and it's important for women to acknowledge their feelings while embracing opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment. This is the phase that speaks loudest to me at this point in my life with two Sons in college and the college process creeping up on me with my youngest.
As women transition into this later stage of life, they embody the Wise Guide. This phase involves drawing upon life experiences, wisdom, and intuition to mentor others, contribute to the community, and leave a legacy. The opportunity lies in embracing one's unique perspective, sharing knowledge, and finding fulfillment in guiding others. However, there can also be confronting mortality with aging parents or personal/family health issues, adjusting to changing roles, and balancing personal desires with societal expectations. I am personally slowly dipping my toe in this phase, and recognise it’s possible and in fact likely to be inhabiting multiple roles simultaneously with different children of varying ages. Embracing the role of a Wise Guide involves accepting the natural progression of life while finding fulfillment in sharing wisdom and supporting others on their journeys.
The journey of female motherhood encompasses various stages each presenting its own set of opportunities, challenges, and emotional shifts. From the profound experience of childbirth to the wisdom gained through guiding others, women navigate through these phases. Sometimes with resilience, strength, and grace and other times kicking, fighting, falling and floundering. It is an adventure, a pilgrimage and a metamorphosis . By understanding these phases better and embracing the accompanying emotions, women can embark on a transformative journey of supportive self-discovery, compassionate growth, and nourishing fulfillment. I am eternally grateful for my own mother, my motherhood guides and role models who hold my hand, pick me up when I’ve fallen and cheer me on from the sidelines. I hope to offer the same to other women I meet on my journey from Creator to Wise Guide.
