Heart-to-Heart with You: Falling in love with yourself through meditation
Written by Kyle Schauenberg
Embark on an enthralling journey of meditation, unlocking a nurturing framework to elevate and savor your profound connection with yourself. Each time you meditate, you’re meeting up with yourself to hang out, go on an adventure, get to know yourself better, resolve any issues and reconnect. It’s a lot like taking yourself on a date. And just like when you spend time with a lover or friend, you get to both offer attention and receive it. And since you know yourself better than anyone else, you can offer and receive exactly the quality of attention you prefer, dialed to exactly the degree you need on any given day.
Here are some tips and tricks for meditating in this way:
Don’t skip the pleasantries. Greet yourself. You don’t want to force yourself into alone time.. That doesn’t feel good. You always want to preserve the romance of the meditation practice. So show up for yourself exactly where you are, using the approach that you know you enjoy. Honor what’s going on with you, the way you would if you were asking a friend to hang out. How are you feeling? Is now a good time?
Give yourself a compliment or two. Notice something you admire about yourself and articulate it, maybe even out loud.
This is a moment of enticing yourself toward relaxation. You're offering yourself a break and loving space to rest into. And you’re also receiving that attention, so give yourself a chance to absorb it as well.
Set the mood. If you were going to spend time with someone you love, you’d take a little time to choose the atmosphere you want. The atmosphere of the hang-out sets the mood and offers a certain energy to the interaction.
In meditation, you do this by choosing a mantra.
Begin by asking yourself what atmosphere you want right now. Take a moment and really feel into it. And then trust whatever comes up, and offer that to yourself in the form of a mantra. In this way, the mantra creates the mood into which you can relax and immerse yourself.
For example, when asked, “what do I need right now,” you might notice that you just need a break. Perfect. Create a mantra that packages that sensation into a few words. It might be “free to be,” or “freedom,” or even the sound of relaxation, like “aaah.” Or you might find that you are craving adventure. Try a visual mantra, like the memory or fantasy of being adventurous, and then let the sensations of adventure flow through you.
Allow yourself to just be yourself. When you sink into the first sensations of this time with yourself, all kinds of thoughts and feelings will surface. This is exactly like a date or hang-out with friends. When we feel safe in the arms of a caring environment, we can release and share what’s been weighing on us.
Allow this process. Let yourself release. You will have thoughts of your to-do list and memories of recent events that caused stress. You will have thoughts of future commitments or ideas about how to handle a conflict. Just allow yourself to feel it.
After a bit, you’ll start to remember that you’re meditating, and you’ll naturally want to rest back into the mood of your mantra.
Be a spacious listener. When your thoughts and feelings surface, listen. Be a great friend to yourself. This is not the time to fix or judge or challenge. Just be spacious and kind to yourself. And give yourself space to feel it out. In other words, act exactly like an incredible friend would if you were sharing your thoughts and concerns.
Be game for adventure. The meditation might take you on all kinds of adventures, just like a great date might unfold into goodness knows what! Let yourself surprise you. Follow the threads of the energies at play and allow yourself to be playful with them. Be curious and interested. Let your imagination or memories reveal themselves to you. And just be fascinated by it all.
Make follow-up plans. When your timer sounds and the “date” comes to an end, take care with the transition. Be slow as you emerge. And take note of what happened in the meditation. Maybe jot a few thoughts about it in your journal and make a plan of when you’ll be with yourself in this way again next.
When you view each meditation as a date with yourself, you’ll begin to notice ways that you are getting to know yourself better all the time. You’ll notice a natural compassion for yourself beginning to emerge and an organic instinct to have your own back. Over time, you begin to crave this time with yourself as the most luxurious part of your day: the part where you spend time with the most nourishing person in your life. This is how meditation cultivates self-love naturally and steadily, and becomes a thrilling exploration of creating more intimacy with yourself.
Photo by: Carolin Varonez
